Being a Musician is... a privilege?!

I always find it interesting when people say it's a privilege to be a musician. We slave away in a practice room, always hoping but most likely also anxiously wondering if we'll win a job. The odds are NOT in our favor. Plus, when (if) we do land a job, it very likely doesn't pay enough to live very comfortably. We have many repairs that need to be done to our instruments, plus, before we even win the job, our education (if we want it to be of the highest caliber) will be incredibly expensive. AKA we'll have lots of loans to pay back with a salary that barely covers the cost of living. Plus, going to school and orchestral auditions is incredibly expensive (yay, more expense!). On top of that, the equipment (instruments, etc.) can cost a ridiculous amount. If your parents are loaded (which, for obvious reasons, is often the case), then that certainly helps to not only make it easier to get a hold of all these things but also helps to take a lot of the worry, pressure and guilt off the musician—two factors that often really get to me.


What often happens to young musicians is they work so damn hard they stop enjoying music and start seeing it as work and practically abhorring it. It is not at all easy to become a professional musician. It's and intensely frustrating process.

For me personally, the most frustrating part is that I have an incredibly innate understanding of music and a true gift to communicate through the language of music (This is not to be egotistical, it's simply true. It's what most that know my playing know me for. My mother has been playing professionally my whole life. I learned to read music before I learned to read words. Music speaks so very loudly to me. I live and breath it—for better or for worse.), but technique does NOT come naturally to me at all. So, I have a huge dilemma: I can speak the language but I've had to work quite hard to make sure my "tongue" doesn't get in the way of my communicating it effectively. I would imagine deaf people could really identify. Anyone probably could on some level, for that matter! The biggest issue is my inability to focus unless I'm simply letting the music guide me, which is great but can be a problem when I'm trying to learn technique and make certain good habits which will nullify others.

But, if you haven't been lucky enough to have the "language" of music being spoken so fluently so often in your everyday life, you most likely will have the opposite problem. You get the way your instrument works, you get the kinds of work you have to do to make it work and get to where you want to, and your brain helps in many many ways. These types of people quite often approach playing an instrument like a sports event, which can also be great, but makes it difficult when you're trying to concentrate on the artistic aspect of it. If this is you, this rather awesome video might help point you in the right direction. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/benjamin_zander_on_music_and_passion.html

On top of all that, you have to please other people's opinions—a variety of which are truly valid. There is no one right interpretation. To get a job, to get good reviews, etc., you have to hope the way you play is what the important people want to hear, or at least are willing to accept. You'll have some people (more and more these days) that are looking for perfection and are unwilling to hear anything less not matter how musically moving it is. There is a trend happening lately where orchestras will hold an audition, 70 or so people will show up and they won't take a winner. (In other words, no one was good enough.) Not only that, but several orchestras have been doing that several years in a row with the same position.

Look, I most certainly know what people mean when they say being a musician is a privilege. I truly enjoy classical music more than anything in the world. I truly enjoy what I do, especially when I'm performing. Those musicians that are able to make money doing what they do have an incredibly rewarding job. They don't have to sit at a desk all day. They get to create some of the most beautiful, philanthropic art ever, and get paid to do it.

But most often, the speech whose message is about how being a musician is a privilege is spoken to music STUDENTS. As a student in the classical music field with no job, only incredible debt and many many years of hard, solitary work staring you in the face, it's pretty easy to look at the choice you made to pursue music (if you choose to examine it that closely) as a burden or curse. As I've said, I enjoy music an incredible amount and will never stop loving it, but the intensity with which I love music means I really can't go in any other field and be happy. Looking at it that way, it could very easily be seen as a curse.

Personally, no, I do not think it's a curse. I think it's just the way I've chosen. If anything, I'm glad that I've found the thing that I feel I'm meant to do. So many people go through life changing majors constantly or just feeling altogether lost about what they truly love or are "meant" to do. Some go into music because they think it will be easy and soon find out that it's really really not. I've never ever doubted that what I want to do is music and I didn't go into it thinking it would be easy. I've been warned about how hard it is my whole life—which probably is often a lot of my issue. So many kids are such naturals because they have no idea how hard it is. It's truly sad to see some kids start to feel the pressures of life and the profession. You can watch their playing go downhill before your very eyes.

Once again, this has happened to me. While it's not been fun, I think it probably would have happened eventually, so I'm at least grateful to have it happen when I can feasibly deal with it and not lose a job. I know I will eventually be able to let my personality hang out loud and proud again without getting debilitatingly nervous—I've already come almost full circle—and I know I will be much better off for it. I will be a more well-rounded person and musician, and a more intelligent one to boot.

So... is being a musician a privilege?? I wouldn't necessarily say that. Is it a burden? I wouldn't say that, either. What I would say is that, if you decide do be a musician, you better damn well love it and be willing to work your ass off for what you love. I know too many bitter musicians. That is the ONLY way it will work out for you in the end.